GIRLS V.S BOYS !

This week's lesson was interesting and closer to our hearts I must say :) More like, this topic is much more talked about in our daily lives than the previous ones. Something we can relate to better and contribute since we form at least one of the two subjects in topic! Haha.

Yes. Cross-gender interaction is our topic for the week. Learning objectives include how English can be considered as sexist, understanding how men and women talk differently, and also getting to know possible explanations why men and women talk differently.

The most interesting fact that i took away from this lesson would probably be the symmetrical terms used to name a horse! I swear i never knew a young female horse is called a Filly, and a young male one is called a Colt. Hmm... but actually, I also didnt know that a female horse is a Mare, while a male one is a Stallion. Haha. Shows my pathetic knowledge..

Coming to how the two gender can talk differently, i have found this website that talks about this it too: http://www.learnbodylanguage.org/flirting_talk.html

I shall just pull out some points from there and relate it back to our lesson. I do not know how reliable, but according to the website, it says that actually our communication style dates back to hundreds and thousands of years ago! And it did not evolve much since then either. It was said that men, being the hunters, only concentrated on ways to feed the fanily. Hunting was serious business and required creativity, cleverness and physical endurance -- but it did not require much talking. And while at home, the women tended the children and worked in groups for safety while gathering roots, berries, nuts etc. They talked much of the time while doing their chores and improved their relationship within the group of women.

And these are the points of comparison for the two gender in terms of communicating from the website as well, but i've bolded my inputs below some points:

- Women speak and listen faster than men. Women in a group can even all talk at the same time and make it work!
(Sounds familiar? Yeah we've learnt this in class today, that its very likely for women to overlap talk, have more frequent interruptions because we value cooperation and collaboration)
-Women speak in a softer voice and use pitch and inflection to emphasize points. Men speak in a louder voice and use volume to emphasize a point.
-Women sound more emotional in normal conversation because they normally use 5 tones. Men sound more monotonous when speaking because they normally use only 3 tones.
-Women stick to one topic for a long time until all present have added their comments and feelings on that subject before moving to the next subject. Men want to express their own opinion and not hear the opinion of others. Men want to have the final word, especially with women.
(Thats where the dominance in men come into play. What with having the final say and power and what-not superiority that men value. CHEY?)
In decision making, women seek the input of all the other women present and make decisions based on the consensus of all present. Men try to make the final ruling, no matter what others think.
-In decision making, women prefer a group decision. Men want to show their high status by making their own decisions without input from others.
(Here goes the big male ego again...)
-Women reveal their feelings, private lives and relationships easily. Men hardly ever do! That would show their weaknesses and lower their status as a dominate male (in their mind).
-Men don't spend as much time and interest on anything not physical, especially abstract concepts dealing with 'feelings' and emotions.
-Women want to talk about their feelings to improve their relationship with the listener. Men talk to emphasize their high status and dominance to all present.
-Women want to discuss and explore all aspects of a topic and spend more time on it than men like.
-Women try to strengthen relationships with others by discussing their problems.
-Women ask more questions about what others think.
-Women make indirect accusations, i.e. "Why do you often do that?" Men make direct accusations, i.e. "You always do that!"
-Women like to relate but men rather debate.
-Women are more cooperative when talking. Men are more competitive with talk and try to raise their status and establish dominance.
(It's always about the male chauvinism huh..)
-Women show concern and try to establish empathy and support for others. Men try to fix things and give advice to others.
-Men are opinionated and want to resolve problems quickly, often not studying the situation.
-Men try to be an authority on everything and therefore ask fewer questions.

I, myself, love to talk, chit-chat, and yeah of course, GOSSIP! I enjoy heart-to-heart-talks especially. And one of my favourite pastimes is actually to just sit at a cosy cafe with a group of girlfriends and chatter the afternoon away. We can talk about simply anything under the sun, i dont know if guys will ever understand that. We always take comfort in having listening ears whenever we pour our hearts and sorrows. And we really do feel much better even if the problem persists :)

Perhaps one day a group of guyfriends can actually try that out? It helps :)